What Are The 3 Most Important Things in A Marriage?
What if we told you that you only need three ingredients to recharge your marriage? Marriage rates have been declining as more people opt to divorce, start nontraditional families or embracing cohabitation instead. Many married couples complain of a decline in communication and intimacy as their marriage progresses and this breeds dissatisfaction and resentment down the line? However, most couples forget that just like a normal relationship, for them to keep the physical and emotional intimacy and support alive, they both have to ensure that they make an effort.
Despite the declining rates of marriage especially in the U.S according to a 2020 demographic report, people still desire to find love and get married to their partner of choice. So to ensure that you find and maintain happiness in your marriage, there are some important things in a marriage that you need to observe. If you, as a married couple could only take three pieces of advice on how to have a happy marriage, here they are:
Take Care of Yourself and Each Other
One thing that many married couples complain about is the declining effort that each makes to continue taking care of themselves and showing up for their partner. You will hear a lot of “he let himself go.” However, most people settle into marriage and they gradually stop making an effort to take care of themselves piling all that labor on their spouses. However, self-care is one of the most important things in a marriage because when you pay attention to your emotional, physical and mental health then you will find yourself able to give much more to your spouse.
On the other hand, if you are always stressed out, tired and not taking care of yourself, then you will find yourself either taking it out on your spouse or being unable to show up for them emotionally, physically or mentally which down the line will breed a lot of dissatisfaction and cause a breakdown in communication as well as how you relate to each other. Therefore, you need to pay attention to how gentle and caring you are to yourself as well as to your spouse. Do nice things for the both of you and keep supporting each other and this will be a key thing to the success and happiness of your relationship.
Chase Your Spouse
Do you remember the exhilaration you felt when you were pursuing your spouses? Most people assume that now that you’ve gotten what you wanted and established marriage with your loved one, you no longer need to do the little things you used to do to make them happy and get their attention. Pursuing your spouse means continuing in the tradition of doing the things that made your love stronger in the first place. By now, you already know what they like, their love languages, what makes them happy and what gives them comfort. You may not be able to do these things every day but make it a point to take them to dates, surprise them with gifts, enjoy those cuddles and late night pillow talks and do things for them that will enhance your physical and emotional energy.
Recharging your relationship is one of the most important things in a marriage because it will keep things fresh and also ensure that you maintain intimacy and physical attraction. Pursue regular conversations, new experiences, laughter, connection, romance and fun and you will keep the wheels of your marriage rolling smoothly. Being curious about your spouse’s life, projects, new likes and dislikes, goals and dreams will help maintain a great connection with them and keep you two satisfied and happy in marriage.
Have Realistic Expectations
The last one of the most important things in a marriage is maintaining realistic expectations for your spouse. One of the things that leads to dissatisfaction and unhappiness is having unrealistic expectations about marriage and of your spouse.
Expecting your spouse to be the only one responsible for your happiness puts pressure on them and sets them up to fail which breeds tension and conflict. Having unrealistic expectations of your marriage also leads to an unhealthy relationship where you are having more negative interactions and moments than positive ones as your spouse will most likely be unable to meet a huge percentage of these kinds of expectations.
To ensure that you do not find yourself forming g unrealistic expectations, create spoken as well as shared expectations with your spouse that are not only healthy but also, realistic. Cultivate a good friendship, trust and physical satisfaction. Finally, create a healthy system to enable both of you to communicate their needs and dissatisfaction without blaming the other, and one that will help you manage conflict in a constructive manner.
Finally, keep these important things in a marriage in mind as they will be gifts that keep in giving. Share them with your spouse such that both of you know them and make them part of your daily life with your spouse. Keeping these in mind and practicing them will lead to a happy marriage and help you to reconnect with your spouse physically and emotionally.
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