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How to identify a toxic relationship

How to a toxic relationship, it can be hard to discern when it gets toxic. When we immerse ourselves fully in a relationship, a lot of times, we tend to forget ourselves or what we want or deserve. When this happens, our happiness ceases to become a priority and as a result, we start engaging in self-destructive behavior such as putting up with things that we should not. 

We often hear it said that relationships are hard work, which is true. No relationship is perfect, even those relationships of the business variety. But for the most part, a relationship should make you feel happy, respected, appreciated taken care of, and generally secure.

When you are in a toxic relationship, the effect is the complete opposite. Rather than feel free to express yourself fully, toxic relationships tend to make you feel drained, overwhelmed, and sometimes distressed to the point of no recovery. Whether you are working with a colleague that is weighing you down or your romantic relationship has run its course, no one deserves to be in a toxic relationship.

What does a toxic relationship look like?

It can be hard to identify a toxic relationship particularly when you have been in one for a long time. However, a toxic relationship is any type of relationship that makes you feel unfavoured. Toxic relationships are not based on mutual admiration or respect. Instead, they are based on manipulation, fear, distrust, and in time, they can become increasingly unhealthy.

While all relationships do go through their ups and downs, a toxic relationship is usually draining for the individuals involved. In many instances, the negatives will often outweigh the positives, and the end result is usually debilitating for all partners.

How to identify a toxic relationship

Sometimes it can be difficult to tell when you are in a toxic relationship. In other scenarios, the signs can be clear and in your face such as when there are variations of domestic and emotional violence or harassment. Though the indicators of a toxic relationship may be subtle at times, here are some signs that can help you identify whether you are stuck in a toxic relationship:

You are not in control

If you find that you are not fully in control of your choices and that your partner often makes decisions on your behalf, you could be in a toxic relationship. Healthy relationships are all about taking what each partner has to contribute or offer. As such, if your relationship is healthy, you should feel free to pursue your own interests without fear that your partner will get suspicious or jealous.

Anyone that tries to restrict your freedom, to an unreasonable degree, is bad for you. Your relationship is considered toxic when unnecessary threats and ultimatums are offered as the only option instead of relying on dialogue and conversation.

You are stuck and not growing individually

As a human being, you should strive to grow continuously at every stage of your life, whether you are in your thirties or seventies. If you are in a healthy relationship, your partner should support you and be there for you so that you can be encouraged to be the best version of yourself possible. Therefore, if you have been stagnating because your partner views your success as a threat, then you should seriously consider it a red flag.

Passive aggressiveness

When an individual is passive aggressive, it can be extremely difficult to have a conversation let alone communicate with them. Passive-aggressiveness manifests itself in varying notches, which can make it intensely tricky to identify when you work or live with a passive-aggressor- or if you are a passive aggressor yourself. Passive aggressiveness can take many forms including planned sabotage, giving backhanded compliments, silent treatments, etc. If you are dealing with this more than you have to, it is time to quite your toxic relationship.

Constant fighting

While bickering in a relationship may be considered healthy to some degree, when the fighting is out of control, it is usually a sign that the relationship may be more toxic than it may appear.

As you and your partner get to know each other intimately on a deeper level, your communication and your understanding for each other should gradually improve over time. If you are constantly having misunderstandings that never recover, it could be making your toxic relationship even worse. A relationship cannot progress when communication ceases.

Too much drama

Drama is often the biggest indicator of a toxic relationship. When your relationship is manner of theatrics like screaming, throwing things, and endless accusations, your relationship may be more destructive than you think. There are a lot of couples that thrive on drama. In fact, some claim that it does wonders for their intimacy. However, if you are already dealing with other toxic underlying issues in a relationship such as jealousy and manipulation, adding too much drama to the mix can take the toxicity to a whole new level that could lead to bitterness and resentment for both people in the relationship.

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